I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
