no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
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