Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize