this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
