Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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