Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
