Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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