If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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