I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Randomize
