Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize