so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
