My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Randomize