I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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