How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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