ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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