Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
i've created a new STD.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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