so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
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