It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
