did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize
