I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
im holly from the hills drunk
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
