His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
