I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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