Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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