I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
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