So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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