fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Randomize
