yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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