STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
