erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
