I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
