He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
