I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize