i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
