So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
