omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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