420 ftw
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
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