i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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