Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
