Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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