How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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