It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize