I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Randomize