Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
