I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
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