I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
