Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
