walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
