I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
