Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
