You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
i came on her dog
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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