You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
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