New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
