is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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