if you like me you must not know who I am
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
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