i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
