What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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