everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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