this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
