Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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