i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize