CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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