put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
