4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Randomize
